The countdown to the wedding he's commenced:

Christmas

Merry Christmas!  Well this year was my first year away from my family, and it was a bit weird.  It sure didn't feel like Christmas.  I am used to opening our stockings, waking up my parents (yes, we still do this) and open presents together in the living room, then eat our body weight in home made cinnamon rolls.  So this year- in an attempt to recreate my childhood, we did stockings, presents and cinnamon rolls- which were delicious.  We had fun spoiling Lucy, who was confused and way less interested than we were in all the presents we got her.  But, she still scored some good loot and was very excited to destroy some stuffed, squeaky toys.

We had dinner with Lily and Samir.  I made Christmas ham (my Christmas bonus at work) and it was nice to spend time with them.  I got to Skype with my family back in Colorado, who were having a very white Christmas. Lucky!! The next day Mark's friend Paul got a suite at the Trailblazers game, so we got to spend the game with our good friends.  It was a good game, though Mark made me get a wheelchair after the game.  It was pretty embarrassing, but probably a good idea.

Yes, that's my gimp leg up on the railing.

We also got to spend time with Mark's brother and his family.  We went to the zoo yesterday and it was AWESOME.  I got myself a motorized scooter and I cruised all over the place.  We got to see Lily, the new baby elephant, and my favorite- the giraffes!  They are so cool!!  It was, however, FREEZING.  It was 37 degrees and started snowing.  We were definitely cold, but it was worth it.

Laundry hampers and car doors

I have learned 5 things since becoming immobile and I would like to share them with you:

1. Electric carts at the grocery store are no longer embarrassing, they are AWESOME.
2. People give you dirty looks when you park in handicapped spots... until it takes you 28 minutes to move your seat back, grab your crutches, maneuver them out the door, contort your entire body to carefully rotate your leg over the car door arm rest and out the door without your pants falling down,  finally get out of the car, adjust all clothing, brace, purse, crutches, wobble 4 feet, close the car door, and finally crutch away.  Yeah, by then most people know you probably deserve the handicap spot.
3. Lucy doesn't care that it takes me 8 x as long to get to the door to let her out.  She still likes to beg to go out, then when I finally get there, she goes back to the living room and lies down. jerk.
4. Office chair with rollers + hardwood floors = best thing ever.
5. The laundry hamper also doubles as foot rest in the shower. Who knew?

Some day I'll look back at all this and laugh.  Oh heck, I'm laughing now.

Merry Christmas?

Well, it's December 17th, only a week-ish away from Christmas and I can't believe it.  So much has been going on and I can't say I'm in the holiday spirit.  Between my leg, having to cancel our family trip to Las Vegas and all the sad news, I'm in serious need of some Christmas cheer.

Thankfully, my Mom and Mark were able to put up our Christmas tree and decorate it.   I did throw one ornament onto the tree from the couch, so I count that as helping.  It's pretty beautiful. I also got our Christmas cards finished and sent out.  These were ordered before knee-mageddon, so the irony of Mark carrying me in the bottom picture is purely coincidental.

 I'll definitely miss being with my family for Christmas, but I am thankful my Mom was able to spend 8 days out here with me (even if they weren't exactly fun).  I am also glad I can spend Christmas here with Mark and Lucy and who knows, maybe it will snow!!  Ok, probably not, but a girl can hope. 

I'm gonna go blast Christmas music, now.

Oh, crap

So a couple weeks ago, I had a biometric screening done for my health benefits.  I found out I had above average numbers in my BMI, cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure.  I was pretty stoked, and I went home an bragged to Mark about how I was healthy and the word "invincible" may have been thrown out, too.  Well, I must have jinxed myself because my body decided it was not at all invincible.

2 days after my knee injury, I started feeling pain and pressure in my calf so I scheduled an appointment with my PCP the next day.  So, she looked at it and ordered an MRI and an ultrasound.  So, I crutch my way into the radiology office, and proceed to get rubbed with goo by a lovely Asian woman named June.  So, June comes back in with the phone and hands it to me.  it's my doctor. "Well, Kelly  they found a blood clot in your leg, which explains to pain." Shit.  Not what I wanted to hear.  Blood clot was mentioned, but never thought I would get one- I'm invincible, remember? 

So, fast forward an hour, and I'm resting awkwardly in my hospital bed, sharing a room with an 88 year old woman who is clearly having issues with her bowels.  One MRI, a shot in the stomach, another ultrasound and a very horrible night in the hospital later I find out I tore my ACL.  They can't give me any anticoagulants for my blood clot until after my surgery, so i have to deal with that pain until later.  Thank goodness it's small and it shouldn't move.  It's still scary to think it's down there, lurking around in my leg.

So, my Mom came in to help and I am so glad she did.  Mark can't handle this gimp by himself, and just having her around has been so great.  I don't care how old you are, having your Mom around always makes you feel better.  Plus she's an amazing cook and dog walker.  Lucy is not amused I can't get up.  She's so confused.

Immobility

I think  it's safe to say that anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a graceful human being.  I play sports, I wear sneakers more that any other shoe, I fall down a lot, and I always have at least one bruise showing at all times.  Part of this life, and part of playing soccer- more specifically- comes with accepting the risk that you could, perhaps, get injured.  Quite seriously.  I have broken 2 bones, sprained multiples ankles, pulled muscles and had my fair share of elbows to the face.  It just comes with the territory.  But on Saturday, I was reminded how easy it really is to get hurt.  After taking said elbow to the eye (you should see the shiner on my face) I decided that that injury wasn't quite sufficient enough.  You see, I hadn't cried in quite some time and I guess fate and some girl on the other team joined forces to make sure that I would by the end of the game.  So, of course I did.  I jumped, I landed, I felt things in my knew move in directions they were not meant to move, I went down and I cried. Boy did I cry. Fast forward 2 days, a trip to Urgent Care, 3 x-rays, 1 set of crutches, half a bottle of Advil, 15 ice packs, 3 Ace bandages, a fiance's injured back from carrying me, and some good old fashioned whining and you have a very frustrated lady who can't get off the couch.  Now, I've broken my leg before, so I'm not stranger to immobility, but I was also 15.  I didn't have a job to go to, a dog to let out, a car to drive, and had a mom who would put up with my whining.  Now, I have job to go to, a dog to let out, and fortunately, a fiance who puts up with my whining, but who also has a job to go to, and a dog to let out.  I also have a trip to Vegas in 19 days and am praying to God I can walk by then.  If not, I will be renting a Hovaround.

Find the kneecap!

Now we have resorted to me laying on my back, leg up in the air, and Mark dragging me across the hardwood just so I can go pee. Usually my pants end up half way off by the time I make it to the bathroom, so that's convenient.  One less step.

I am so very thankful I have Mark here to take care of me.  I have no idea what I'd do if he wasn't there to carry me off the field or drag me across the floor.

Running

This isn't real.

I recently had a conversation with my boss about distance running. She just finished her first half-marathon and wasn't quite sure if she truly enjoyed it or wanted to do another one.  I, however, am completely certain that I will never do one.  EVER.  There was a time in college when I attempted to get into running.  I would run about 3 or 4 miles a couple times a week for months and months and it NEVER got easier. I thought that maybe if I just got over the hump and into good shape, I could be like those people on the shoe commercials.  The ones who run through the woods, smiling, with a spring in their step- like this was the easiest thing in the world.  They looked like they were having so much fun. They aren't huffing and puffing the whole way.  They aren't bright red.  They don't look like a wounded soldier, hit by shrapnal in the stomach, fleeing, terrified, through the park like I do.  But it never happened.  I never felt like my lungs weren't going to explode or the snot running down my face was any more acceptable.  I never enjoyed running, nor will I ever force myself to try to enjoy running ever again.  I have accepted that I will never be a runner.  I am not made to run.  I am not made to be in shoe commercials and I am sure as heck not made to run a half marathon.  My name is Kelly and I hate running.

Bad Employee

This week has been a particularly crazy week at work.  Not because of any big projects, or meetings, but because it's Thanksgiving week and who wants to be at work, anyway??  Well, this morning I am working from home because our little Lucy decided to hurt herself at the dog park and is limping around, milking her injury for all its worth.  And me, being the loving, caring mother that I am, decided to stay home and work in case she went into petting withdrawls or sleeps in the wrong position and I need to jump into action and save the day!  This, of course, means that very little work will be done.  Granted, not much is going on in the office anyway because of the holiday, so I partially blame the pilgrims and indians for this.  But, I will accept partial blame in that I am 1. blogging right now.  2. have pinterest open in one window, facebook in another and a partially finished email to my mom about wedding dresses in a third. 3. I'm in my pajamas, drinking coffee on the couch.  I will say, I have to host a meeting at 2:00 today, so I will eventually get dressed and put on the professional Kelly Barker ACSM face and get my business handled.

In the meantime, I will continue to blog.

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I can't help but miss home a little bit.  Thanksgiving was always one of my favorite times of the year and not just because I love pumpkin pie.  But because of the family, the stories, playing Balderdash with Weston who never scored any points but was always hilarious, of sledding down the hill or fighting with Kyle over the whipped cream.  It's so different now that we are grown up and far away.  I'm getting married and will start our own traditions with our kids.  But it makes me thankful to think back on all the Thanksgivings and I am truly blessed and lucky to have the family I do.

My brother and I.  Aren't we adorable?

Dad and I at Lindsey's wedding

Circa 2001?

Weston trying to throw me off a mountain

Linds on her wedding night!

Because we're crazy

April 4,2012.
Portland, Oregon.

Mark Dean: "Hey Kelly, Nick asked us if we wanted to join his team for the Tough Mudder in September so I signed us up."
Kelly Barker: "What's the Tough Mudder?"
Mark Dean: "I think it's a mud run thing."
Kelly Barker: "Ok"

Little did I know that 5 months later I would be dunked in freezing water, getting shocked repeatedly with 10,000 volts, trekking up 11 miles of the most ridiculous hills ever, all while getting mud in places you should never get mud.

BUT, it was a very tough challenge and I am very proud of myself for finishing it, and not skipping any obstacles.  The team was awesome and I am actually glad I did it.  Will I do it again?  Maybe.

So, enjoy some pictures.

BEFORE:

Notice how clean we are?

DURING:

A little muddy

AFTER:

Yes- with our finisher headbands.

NOW CHECK OUT THE OFFICIAL VIDEO:

Fall

Ahh yes, it's that time of year again.  When the sun decides to be a jerk and leave town and the rain once again pours down on my freckly skin.  But, fall means new adventures and new fun.  I am playing outdoor (and also indoor) soccer now and it's a little more fun playing in the mud and rain.  And yes, in my awesomely neon new cleats. 

Cold weather also means cooking delicious food.  I made this batch of homemade chicken noodle soup which was delicious! 

 And of course, Lucy is pretty much adorable.  I let her sleep with me on the bed when I was home sick and I couldn't get over how snuggly and adorable she was!  But, now that I'm back to normal, she is confined to sleeping on one of her 4 beds around the house.  Rough life.

Spoken For

It's been so long since I wrote on here, it's probably time to update my blog status.  You see, I am no longer just a girlfriend, I am now a fiance!  Yup.  We are getting hitched and as much as I knew a proposal was looming somewhere in the distance, I can't believe it's real. I'm glad there is a sparkly ring on my finger to prove it to myself.

I once heard someone talking about their engagement and I remember the very vivid feeling of terror and anxiety.  I mean, you are committing to spend your WHOLE life with someone.  Forever, every day, every bad mood, every arthritic joint, every ailment.  But when I met Mark, I knew almost immediately that we had something that very few people even know exist.  We have a love that I still can't believe I found.  It's the best feeling in the world and now I look forward to all the bad days and the hip replacements and the wrinkles.

#10: Ten Pet Peeves

1. Chewing.  Particularly crunching and/or chewing of mushy food.  Especially if it's quiet and if I'm already annoyed at something else.

2. Cracking necks.  Feel free to crack your knuckles, knees, toes, whatever.  But neck cracking makes me want to crack you.

3.People who don't listen.  If I have to repeat something I said 2 minutes before because you were off in la-la land, I probably won't say it very nicely.

4.  Slow drivers.  Ok Oregon, we all know you aren't in a hurry.  But when you go 5-10 under the speed limit at all times, you are making this woman angry.  No wonder there's so much friggin traffic- no one goes the speed limit.

5.Straight lines not being straight.  I had stripped bedding in college and it would drive me crazy when someone would sit on the bed and ruin the lines.  Come on people!

6. When you show someone pictures on your camera and they take the camera to look and then continue to look at the photos by themselves.  I'm sharing, not giving, sir.

7. Lights left on in empty rooms.  I don't know why, but this bothers me.

8. When someone tries to quote a movie and it is not even close to being right.  A little off, is fine, but when you butcher it and still try to be funny, it's not gonna work for me.

9. This isn't as much of a pet peeve, as something I'm genuinely confused by.  When women wear ridiculously high heels at inappropriate times.  Example:  at an amusement park or a child's soccer game.  I will admit it's funny watching them try and walk on grass in stillettos.

10. Having dirt on my feet.  Gives me the willies feeling dirt between my toes.

#9: Ten people that have influenced me

1.  Mrs. Torrison.  She was my awesome 2nd grade teacher and she looks exactly like Mrs. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus series.  I don't remember why, but she made me want to raise my hand for every question-which was a BIG deal for me- and she would always give me the neon yellow bandaids, even when I didn't really need one.

2.  Lindsey Barker- Sunderhaus (AKA my cuz, AKA my partner in crime).  Linds is the closest I have to a sister and growing up she was always right there to help me out and to look up to.  She helped me learn how to shave my legs, ride the ATV's, cuss, play Mall Madness or give me advice on, well... everything!

3. My brother, Kyle.  Now Kyle was not an overwhelmingly good presence in my life.  He was the opposite for most of it, but without him and all his ways, I would not be the person I am and I have no idea where I would be right now.

4. Ryan- my old professor/ boss/ internship supervisor.  Ryan was one of the most selfless people I have ever met- he always took the time to ask how I was or see if I needed anything.  He went through something incredibly tragic in the time I got the privilege to know him, and despite it all, he was still the best teacher I ever had, the best boss and one of the friendliest people I knew. He also gave me a glowing recommendation and helped me get my job!

5.  Morgan S.  My old roommate.  Morgan has had arguably the most influence on my life- particularly in college.  She and I were best friends at the beginning and by the end, we weren't speaking.  She struggled with bipolar disorder and suicide- all of which I had to witness.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that day and I will never think of suicide or mental disorders the same ever again.

6. John Butler.  Ok, this sounds cheesy, because he's a musician that I've never met.  But honestly, at a point in my life when I wasn't happy and I felt truly alone, I would play his song "Better Than" over and over and somehow it would make me feel better.  Like somehow, somewhere, someone knew what I was feeling.

7. Jeff.  My ex-boyfriend.  He cheated.  And he didn't influence me because we broke up, he influenced the way I felt about myself.  For the first time in my life I didn't like myself.  I took down every mirror in my apartment, I was ashamed of how I looked, how I talked, everything about me.  I am embarrassed now how much control I let him have over me.  But, like every heart break story, it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened.  Jeff wasn't a good person and it took him cheating for me to really understand that and to let go.

8. Mark. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to move to Oregon.  I never knew why I suddenly had the courage to move across the country by myself.  I had the feeling that something was waiting for me here.  Now I know.  Mark.  He is why I came here, why I risked everything I had, and why I am still here today.  Yes, it's mushy, but he's my other half and my one and only.

9.  Alexander Supertramp.  Ok, his real name was Chris McCandless.  He was the man from the book and movie Into the Wild.  The man who left his home, burned his money and lived his life on the road and eventually made it to Alaska where he, yes, died (not why he influenced me).  Into the Wild is the only book I have ever read more than once ( more like 10+ times).  I can't explain why he influenced me, but everyone who knows me and who has read that book can figure out why.

10. Amanda Jamison.   My best friend.  BFFFE.  Seriously, she is my sister from another mister.  We have had so many great memories and even with the enormous distances that have separated us, we can still pick up right where we left off.  She's had more than her fair share of sadness in the last year but she has dealt with it so gracefully and with such courage and optimism.  She truly is my hero and I am so glad I left my Velveeta Shells and cheese at her house all those years ago!

 

#8: Five Passions

I don't think I have things that I feel consistently passionate about.  I don't like politics or have a calling to save whales or pretest against anything.  Maybe I haven't found what I am truly, undoubtedly passionate about.  But here's what I care about today:

1. Adventures.  I find very large amounts of joy in life's everyday adventures.  I hate asking directions because I have discovered so many amazing things from wandering or being lost.  I think life is more interesting when you seek to find something amazing, even if it's just around the corner.

2. Swimming.  I might not do it as often, but I still feel like I have fins when I jump in the water.

3. Toe nail polish.  My toe nails are currently naked and I really REALLY don't like it.

4. Painting.  I forgot how therapeutic it can be and how awful I am at it.  But even so, it's fun to create something and then hang it up on the wall.  


5. Baking.  I really love baking.  But I never seem to have time any more.  Oh, and the fact that it's really hard to bake something that's not incredibly unhealthy.  But I've been wanting to get back into baking lately- maybe some muffins?  mmm.

#7: My dream job

This is a really hard one. I don’t know if I could really create an ideal job for myself, especially given that I probably have no idea what a lot of really cool jobs entail. But, in the interest of putting something interesting up today, I will try.

I feel very lucky to be in the career I’m in right now. I knew that health was something I was meant to pursue during my very first lecture on Fitness and Health at CSU. It took me 2 years and 3 majors to figure it out, but once I got there I knew it was where I belonged. I also have a special place in my heart for kids. Yes, sometimes I do not want anything to do with kids, but deep down I know there’s a soft spot for those little buggers. Specifically, kids who are overweight. Nothing makes me more upset than seeing a pudgy little kid sitting down eating ice cream while his friends are playing tag. It makes me cringe to think about how unhealthy and fat our whole country is, but seeing little kids who don’t know any better getting diagnosed with diabetes at 12 or who can’t fit on rides at the amusement park makes me downright angry. The statistics on obesity are scary and the fact is that for the first time in history, children right now are expected to have a shorter life span than their parents. So, putting those 2 together, I would love to run a program to help educate and motivate kids to live healthy lives. Of course this would include educating and motivating their parents too. I have a great deal of respect for Michelle Obama and her Lets Move! campaign to fight childhood obesity. Something needs to change and I would love to somehow find a way to help.

That or be a professional pool floatie tester.

#6: What is the hardest thing I've ever had to experience?

I would just like to start by saying this took me a while to think of and for that, I'm very thankful because nothing truly terrible has ever really happened to me.  I haven't lost any close friends or family, no illnesses or truly painful events that stick out in my mind.

But, that's not to say I haven't had my fair share of challenges.  The most challenging of those would be moving to Oregon.  I have always thought of myself as an introverted, shy person, so making the decision to even look for internships outside Colorado was a big step.  But once I found one, I knew I had to go.  I always heard Portland was a great place and thought that maybe something amazing was bringing me out here.  Packing up all the stuff in my little car, saying goodbye to all my friends and family and watching my old life fade away in the rear view mirror was the scariest thing I've ever experienced.  I had only been to Portland for a few days for my interview, I only knew one person and I had no paying job.  It wasn't until my Dad drove away that it truly hit me that I was on my own.  It was a  fun, exciting experience and my internship was a million times more than I could have hoped for.  But, it was very very difficult to start a new life from scratch. I missed my family and my friends and I wasn't quite sure why I felt like I needed to move to Oregon.  But slowly I found my way, worked my way into a great job, found my wonderful boyfriend, adopted my furry love ball, and I can honestly say moving here was the best decision and so worth the risk.

#5: Five things that make me most happy right now

1. It's Saturday!  My favorite day!  I got to sleep in, play soccer, cook dinner and know I can do it all again tomorrow!
2.Sunshine.  Finally, the sun is out and it is glorious!  I've missed smelling like sunscreen!
3.Mark Dean.  Seriously, he is my everything.  I couldn't imagine life without him.
4. My friends!  Kat, Terra and Amanda all came out to visit me last weekend and I'm still a little depressed they are gone.  So happy to have them in my life.
5. My job.  I can't even begin to explain how getting this job changed my life.  I am so grateful I got it!

#4: 10 things you'd tell your 16 year old self.

1. Wear shorter shorts. Those legs were amazing
2. Finding a boyfriend isn't the solution to all of your problems
3. Stop being an under acheiver.  You will start takting AP classes in a year or so and then regret not taking them sooner.
4. Swim!  This is the sport you were meant to do.  Embrace it and stop trying to pretend you're ever going to be amazing at soccer.
5. Stand up for yourself.  Good Lord, letting your "friends" treat you like shit isn't a great life decision.
6. Tell your brother how much he's screwing up your life and then get over it, and live your life, be happy and don't worry about him.
7. Braces aren't the end of the world, though crying hysterically at the orthodontist is not a great idea either
8. Though it might seem like it now, hanging out in the Alberston's parking lots isn't really that cool.
9. Enjoy eating cookie dough straight from the tube, because that won't fly as an adult.

10. Be happy with who you are, accept the things you can't change and have fun.

#3: Parents

#3: Describe your relationship with you parents.

I love my parents to death- they are amazing parents.  I was just talking to my mom about how lucky my brother and I were for getting to go on so many adventures and trips growing up. Go-karts, dirt bikes, camping trips, hiking, boating, swimming, soccer.  I got to do so much as a kid.  There was a lot of love in our house, but it was never spoken.  Feelings were never discussed and emotions were never really expressed. When I left for college, I quickly realized how unhealthy it was and I had a really hard time navigating my way around my own life because I couldn’t deal with my stresses and joys and sadness and anger.

But I made it out alive. And also a little braver, a little more confident and with the ability to express myself.  Now, my parents are my support and my cheerleaders.  They might live far away, but they are still around me every day.  I am still my Dad’s little girl and I know it’s not easy for him to let me go.  I will grow up, get married and maybe have a few little tikes of my own, but I’ll always be his little girl.

#2: 3 Fears

#2:  List 3 legitimate fears and explain how they became fears:


1. Being chased.  I hate thinking I am being followed and/ or chased.  This is especially true going up stairs in sketchy stairwells.  There has been countless incidents where I was walking up stairs when someone starts to walk up behind me and I literally SPRINT up the stairs because it scares the crap out of me.  How this came about?  My brother was mean, very mean.  He would chase me and when he caught me, he would hurt me.  This is why I'm afraid of being chased.


2. The dentist.  I thought I was just nervous about having a bad check up, but when I went to the dentist last year for the first time in 4 years I learned it was, in fact, real terror.  I used to have perfect check ups and I never had a cavity until last year. But a lot of bad things can happen in 4 years and I had to go back 3 times to fill all my cavities and was also blessed with a root canal.  I am anxious just thinking about it.  And I want to go floss.


3. Dying before I'm ready.  I don't think I fear dying itself, but I fear that I'll die before I get to cross off everything on my bucket list, or meet my children, or see all the places I want to go.  I want to travel and eat weird foods and meet crazy people.  I don't want to go out young, I want to die an old, old lady, covered in scars and wrinkles.  But, I can't bet on that, so I just have to live my life to the fullest every day!

#1: 20 Random Facts

Well, true to form, I forgot I was going to start blogging tonight, so now I'm dead tired and ready for bed, but will sacrifice for the greater good of mankind.  And by mankind I mean the internet.


Ok, here goes.  20 random facts:


1. I HATE the feeling of being chased, especially going up stairs. This is, probably, from years of playing tag or cops and robbers with my brother, with the game always ending with me crying.
2.  I hate the color pink.  Except pink Starbursts.
3.  I have varicose veins in my left eye ball.  (I just found that out yesterday!)
4.  My name is Kelly and I have bunions.
5.  I can change my own oil
6.  I've been skydiving and it was incredible
7.  I only like the fluffy insides of donuts, not the glazed outsides.
8.  Before I pierced my bellybutton, I could turn it all the way inside out.  
9.  Oh, well, I pierced my bellybutton when I was 16.
10. I have a tattoo
11.  I honestly believe I get along better with guys than with girls
12.  My dream is to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
13.  I have never had a manicure
14.  I really miss owning a real mailbox
15.  My favorite song on the planet is Ocean by John Butler Trio
16.  I can stand on an exercise ball without holding on to anything.  ( I've lost count of how many face plants I've done in the process of learning this)
17.  I've broken 4 bones
18.  My favorite food is raspberries. (are raspberries?)
19.  I miss the stars in Colorado more than anything.

20.  When I was little, I would sneak chocolate chips one at a time from the pantry and keep them in my ballerina jewelry box.

30 days of posts start... NOW

I found this blog and it had a great idea: Answer 1 question every day for a month.  Here's the list:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

11. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. Describe your most embarrasing moment.

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I have wanted a reason to jump back on the blog bandwagon, but haven't been particularly inspired lately.  So this is perfect!  It's probably best to start on the first day of the month, but what the heck!  It's my half-birthday!  That's good enough for me.


Stay tuned...

Welcome to adulthood

This is my first professional head shot.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  The blue swirly background is, if I’m correct, the one I had in the 3^rd grade school picture.  But now instead of coulots, I’m wearing slacks.  Does this mean I’m an adult now?  Does this mean I’m going to have to start caring about my 401k (or my 403B- thank you Providence)?  Or stop watching trashy MTV shows?  Or start thinking about kids and marriage?  I guess as long as I had a crummy job, I felt like I was still in college, waiting to finally move on to something better.  But now that I have a good job I understand what it’s like to think about life like an adult.   I have been looking into getting a new car and one of the thoughts is how accessible it would be for a baby car seat.  Yes, I’m serious.  No, babies are not in my near future, but now that I have officially crossed the threshold into adulthood, this is what I think about.  I guess I have to finally pack up my coulots and embrace my adulthood!

I'm back!

Man oh man. It’s been so long since  I’ve written on my blog.  Sorry to the 1 maybe 2 people who even still check it.  But I’m determined to get back on the blog wagon and once again update the anonymous internet world on my life.

Where to start.  I started the job!  I work for the Providence Health Plan (same company as my previous job, just a different division).   I am the Health Engagement Coordinator and I basically try to get the health plan members more involved in their health, i.e. worksite wellness programs, using the online tools to see their medical records, getting all their preventative screenings, and the biggest part is targeting the people who are at risk for developing a serious health problem (heart disease, diabetes, COPD, etc) and intervening before it’s too late.   I have been there for 5 weeks and I still can’t believe I have this job.  It’s more than what I hoped it would be and I am so SO thankful I have a job in my field.  I can’t say that’s the case for most of my friends I went to school with.  I have officially traded in my Nike sweatpants for Banana Republic slacks.  I feel so grown up!

Mark and I went to Mexico!  It was glorious (except for the sunburn) and it was perfect timing- the week before I started my new job.  We needed some sun and some time to relax after a long, wet winter.  I wish we could go back!

My Mom and aunt LeaAnn came out to visit last week!  We saw all the Portland sites- the Saturday Market, 23rd street, the Rose Garden and we took a trip to the coast.  The weather was miraculously sunny and warm.  We hiked and played on the beach.  I have never seen  Lucy as excited as she was when she saw the water.  I wish I had a video, but imagine a 4 year old, on Christmas morning after eating 30-35 pixy sticks.  That’s how excited and spastic she was.

 Speaking of our little fur child, last week marked 2 big occasions: Lucy’s 2nd birthday and the 1 year anniversary of when we brought her home from the Humane Society.  Both were only a few days apart, so Lucy got double spoiled last weekend.   Bringing her home that first day was so stressful and it took us all a while to get used to each other.  Lucy was confused and scared and didn’t trust us one bit when we first got her.  But the crazy, stubborn, frustrating puppy we brought home is so different than the goofy, loyal, wonderful little doggy we have now.  Ok, she’s still crazy, stubborn and frustrating, but not even close to what she was before.  She’s been the best dog we could have ever imagined!  And holy cow, look how cute she is!?!?

Mark and I took off for a night to Bend for Memorial Day.  It was beautiful there and the weather was great.  We got to watch Austin’s mtn bike race and then we went to our favorite spot for dinner.  Then we walked around the lake, picked out our dream homes and enjoyed each other’s company.  It was perfect.  And I decided I am going to move there one day.  Just you wait…

Lucy's new talent

Here we go!

It finally happened...  After 6 interviews, 4 companies and months of searching, I finally got a JOB!  I am so excited and so relieved.  This is the first step in starting a career, which sounds so strange to say.  I never thought I'd care so much about a job or having a career.  But I do care and I do want to be successful in what I do, or at least make those student loans I'm paying off worth it!
Quitting the coffee shop job was done in about 3.5 minutes after I found out and I couldn't be more excited to get out of that sinking ship.  Quitting my other job was a bit more tricky and I'm surprised how hard it was.  Quitting the job was easy, but quitting my co-workers and all my favorite people was not.  I am going to miss the people, but that's just part of moving on.
Now, on to bigger and better things!!  Mexico in 7 days and new job starting in 19 days!  Onward and Upward

Spring? Seriously?

I don't believe for a single second it's spring.  It hasn't stopped raining in Portland and has even been snowing since last week.  Not to mention, where the eff did February go?  Wasn't it Valentine's Day like 45 minutes ago?  Sometimes I wonder what dimension I live in, because I don't think it's concurrent with the one the rest of the universe is in. 
All that aside, I think we've had a mild winter here in the NW.  Not as wet and cold as the last winter- previous week excluded.  Or maybe I am just more optimistic this season?  Or maybe just happier in general.  Who knows.  But sunscreen in on sale right now, which can only mean one of two things:  That the sun will make an appearance for a period of time that requires adequate sun protection.  Or that we are so desperate to believe the sun is coming out that we find any and all reason to stock up on sunscreen.  (which I did, thank you Target, Fred Meyer and New Seasons). 
So, on this first day of spring, I would like to thank my sweatpants, furry-hooded jacket, rain boots and gore-tex for their dedicated and superior service this season.  They performed above and beyond the call of duty and for that I will allow them to take an extended leave of absence and enjoy the closet for, say, 9 months.

Good day to you.

This is what I expect this time next week

Exciting times

I have not blogged in so long!  Partly because I have nothing exciting to report.  I didn't get that job in Boise.  I was pretty upset- much more upset than I thought I would be.  But everything happens for a reason.  I was convinced another opportunity like that wouldn't come along, but the very next week I found 4 jobs just like it!  I had an interview with Kaiser last week and I have another one next week with Providence Health Plans.  The Kaiser job wasn't a good fit, but I have a good feeling about the PHP gig.  But, I'm not going to get all excited and tell the world about it this time.  Less people asking about it is probably better.

But, all seriousness aside, I am counting down to our Mexican vacation!!  We are spending 6 days in Puerta Vallarta!  I am so excited and so SO ready for some beach, sun and margaritas.  I am also pretty happy because for the first time I feel like I'm gonna rock the shit out of a bikini.  I just need to learn how to not burn- because lobster isn't a good color on me.

Money

I have a love-hate relationship with money.  I like it, I don't have very much of it, I want it, but I don't think it is essential to one's happiness. I don't think you need to own a new car or a nice, spacious house to truly be happy.  Yes, I think life's easier when you have money and I think you have more fun on a jet ski than you do on a paddle boat.  But why does everything have to revolve around money?  Or our jobs?  Why is what you do for a career what defines you as a person?  How often is it that what you love to do more than anything and what you do for a living are the same thing?  Or if they are even in the hemisphere?

I was asked in an interview a year or 2 ago what I would do if I could do anything in the world.  I said 1.  An elementary school art teacher.  2. Coffee shop owner.  3. Work in the wellness field.  Now number 1 is a guess.  I like art, I like kids, so technically I should like this job.  2. To own a coffee shop has always been what I'd like to do since I was 19.  I think I would be good at this, but I can't afford to buy a cup of coffee, let alone buy a whole shop.  And then there's 3.  This I know from experience.  I know I would do this job well and I would love it.  The job I have now is a paycheck.  A tiny, stupid paycheck. I don't feel like what I'm giving up to go to work is worth what I'm getting.  I want a job that challenges me, that I enjoy and one that I am proud to go to everyday.  I know it's not in my future to make loads of money.  I would have chosen a much different major in college if it were.  I am not out to get that Lexus or to buy a huge house.  I don't need a diamond watch or a European vacation every summer.  I want to make what I love and what I do come together.  I want to live my life with the people I love next to me, laughing and crying and enjoying life.  I don't want anything else.  I just want that.



Future

I am sitting in my hotel suite in Boise after a long day of interviewing and exploring what could potentially be my new home.  It's a strange feeling, knowing my life could change in the next week and I could be packing up and moving 450 miles away.  It wouldn't be my first big move, but my life would change in such an drastically different way that it can't even be compared to the last one.  When I moved to PDX I was alone and on a mission to figure out my life.  I don't know if I have succeeded, but I have found a puppy, an amazingly wonderful boyfriend, and I know now what I want to do with my life.  This job wouldn't just be another paycheck, this would be the job I have been hoping for. 

Lucy's new habbit...

Oh Lucy.  Sometimes I can't believe how much we treat her like a human, and how she acts like one too.  But then somedays I realize how much she is 100% wild animal.  Dirty, gross, muddy, wild animal.

Notice how the other dog cautiously avoided the mud puddle.  Not our dog though.  No way.  She decided to take herself a sweet little nap in the puddle.  Thanks, Luce!