Physical Therapy is hard

Ok before I even begin this, let me just start by saying it's a terrible idea to Google image search a surgery you will be having very soon.  Most of the images that come up are not pretty, nor are the people in them conscious and/or smiling.  That being said, there will probably be no pictures associated with this blog.

So, seeing as Claude, my very affectionate and loving bloodclot, decided he will take up residence in my posterior tibial vein I have no choice but to wait until the next ice age to have my surgery.  In the meantime, I've been kicking ass in physical therapy.  Now, that might mean something different to everyone, it sure wasn't what I thought it would be.  I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think it would be so mentally and physically exhausting.

Before kneemageddon and before Claude came into my life, I would run and bike and play soccer and jump and hike and dance and do anything and everything I wanted.  Now, I have to focus and push myself beyond my tolerance to just bend my knee to tie my shoe.  I have to hold on to the bar to do a squat. Sliding my foot forward and back is now the equivalent of me doing 100 push-ups 2 months ago.

Injuring myself has been an experience.  A terrible, painful, humbling experience. To me, injuries used to be a set back, something that might keep me on the sidelines for a few days.  But when your injury effects your ability to walk, work, live your life normally- it's something completely different.  I look at the person walking up the stairs and I think how lucky they are.  How they don't know how good they have it.  It's a bizarre and helpless feeling.  It's also very motivating.  Instead of going to the gym to lose some love handles, I am going to the gym to regain to use of my leg.

Never in a million years did I think I would be in this position, one where I was going to doctor's appointments more than I go the the grocery store. I thought I was healthy, invincible.  It's funny how naive and silly I was.  Life is a crazy adventure, but it is an adventure.